9:24 p.m.Life’s been a little rough the past couple of days and I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Relationship problems with my fiance and with my dad, both of which can be extremely hard to get along with. I’ve never been super close to my dad. He did raise me some, but I remember my time with him as a child as chaotic, and as an adult, I don’t have to live that way. As an adult, I have a choice. And his temper and being overly sensitive isn’t something I have to indulge in. So I blocked him (again) tonight. My mother was always so much easier to get along with. I wish she was still here, and I still struggle with her death daily. She was my very best friend and watching her die last year just destroyed me and I’m still not over it, so more drama with my father, isn’t something I need in my life right now. We’ve had such a hard time getting along these past couple of years and I honestly just don’t know how to handle him. Same with my fiance. I’m honestly at a point now where I know I do not want to get married. Not now, not ever. I honestly miss being single and I’m at a point now where it’s a serious consideration. I can only take so much before I have to start putting myself first. I miss my independence and would love to be single again. It’s a definite possibility.
